Katie Beginnings
One of my favorite memories is how my wife and I started dating (and it fits my tongue-in-cheek storytelling perfectly).
Katie and I first met when I returned to Santa Barbara from a summer at home in San Diego, but both of us forget exactly where and when that was. She certainly made an impression on me because my “Cute girl I wonder if she’s single” radar went off, and kept her in the back of my mind. That was quickly foiled when that same night one of my seven roommates got home and announced he was going on a date with none other than this Katie girl I had just met. So, in honor of my friend, my initial feelings of attraction and interest went into a box put on a shelf in my mind to never be thought of again.
Fast forward to the end of that relationship between Katie and my roommate and an end to a relationship I was in, about 9 months later. I hit a pretty major funk (which I discovered was more accurately a depression) and was not interested in dating. In about 6 months my time in Santa Barbara was coming to a close, at which time I would be headed to San Diego to pursue a graduate degree. I was avoiding dating and many friendships, and just wanted to keep my head down and get through the next few months. Then, out of the blue, I received a text.
From: Katie Ingham
“Hey Chris Ward! Do you have time for a chat today?”
I crapped a brick. Right there, right then, in my office chair in the graduate office of the UCSB Economics Department where I worked part-time. Because I knew immediately this was going to go one of two directions.
I did something wrong. I led her on and flirted a little too much (I was a major flirt in college, something that I am not too proud of) and now she was calling me on the carpet. Or I said something that hurt and offended her (I tend to say what I’m thinking). Or or or or. I could think of a handful of things right on the spot, and she could be calling me out for any one of them. OR…
She liked me.
No one asks to have a “chat” unless it is a fairly significant conversation. And no one requests it to happen that very day unless it is important. So I responded.
I suggested a time, she had class. She suggested a time, I had work. She suggested we save it for another day, I refused. I was already far too wound up with anticipation and dread to wait. So I did what any good college student employed on campus would do: I told her to meet me in front of the building I worked in in 15 minutes and told my boss 15 minutes later that I was going to poop. Classy.
I walked down the stairs, opened the door, saw Katie standing there in the sunshine of a Santa Barbara winter day, and IMMEDIATELY knew: this girl likes me. (I was a smug brat, what can I say?)
We start walking:
Chris: “Hi Katie, how are you?”
Katie: “I’m good, what about you?”
C: I’m doing well thanks.
...Silence…
K: How are your midterms going?
C: I don’t have any midterms right now, but I’m assuming you didn’t ask to have a chat so we could discuss midterms…
I kid you not. I was such a brat.
Katie stammers and reaches into her pocket saying, “Let me get my notes.”
I fell head over heels for her right then and there.
She outlined that she liked me. She said she trusted me (we had had a lot of interaction over the past year and a half), and knew that if God had spoken to me about her I would have done something already. She said she just needed to get this off her chest. She said she wanted to date me.
I was delighted. Giggling internally. Happy. Excited. Wanted. That always feels good.
I told her I would be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for her as well, but that I hadn’t thought of her that way because of her previous involvement with my ex-housemate, and that because I was headed to San Diego I wasn’t overtly looking to start a relationship. But I told her I would think about it, and went back to work after what was perceived by my boss as the longest poop ever.
I thought. I prayed. I talked to people. I decided. I had a conversation with the old housemate, not asking his permission but informing him that I would be taking Katie on a date, making no mention that she initiated. He gave me the right answers then, and the next day gave me his true feelings. It was hard, he is an amazing guy and I knew it was hard for him, but at the recommendation of others and through my processing I determined I had the freedom to date her.
So I did. We went to dinner. Stopped for coffee. Made dessert at my place. Talked until the playlist I made for our first date ended. I walked her home. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop smiling.
I’m still honored she chose me.