What Do I Do If I Know A Pastor Is Living In Habitual Sin?
Question:
What do I do if I know a pastor is living in habitual sin?
*GASP* QUICK! CALL THE TABLOIDS! ALERT THE POLICE! WRITE A CLICKBAIT ARTICLE! A PASTOR HAS SINNED!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, now that that ridiculous corniness is out of my system, if you were sitting in the room with me and asked that question, I’d probably look at you blankly and say, “And…?”
I am not making light of the question nor the issue, but I do want to make sure we are realistic here. Pastors are people too. Shocking, I know. And since every pastor is a person, every pastor sins. Regularly. Every day in fact. You could even say they have a habit of sinning, just like every other person on the face of the planet.
You see, sin means “to miss the mark.” In Christianity what this means is that God made us perfectly and set up the world and our relationship with it perfectly. We were designed to live in unbroken trust of and relationship with God. But, thanks to Adam and Eve, that trust and relationship were both broken, and every human in the history of history has missed the mark of unbroken relationship with God.
That is fundamental, foundational, original sin, and our hearts are now naturally, in their resting state, inclined to move away from God instead of towards him. Even Christians. Jesus has made it possible for our relationship with God to be restored, and though we have a new heart and a new mind and a new life, we still have our natural urge to move away from God. This is the Already-Not-Yet theology you may have heard of, where we are currently saved by God and restored to a right relationship with him, but we also live in a broken world and in bodies and minds that want to distrust and disobey God.
Discipleship or following Jesus, then, is at its core a daily reliance upon God to make the decisions and live the life that God intended for us, one in which our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors match His original design. It is a good and beautiful design too, one where life is valued and people are honored and property is respected and all are invited into friendship with God. But there are a million and one ways we can come up with to walk in the opposite direction of God, and most days we don’t even have to find them. They’re just there. Which is why following Jesus, while about the way we live life, must be founded and completely dependent upon God’s grace and favor and kindness.
We couldn’t have come back to God on our own, we wouldn’t have even wanted to, which we see demonstrated in our daily desire to go our own way. And we can’t live a perfect day even when we know the exact way God would have us live, because none of us is perfect. No one can go love every one of their neighbors as themselves, or love God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength every second of every day. So we rely upon grace and forgiveness, confessing our sins to God and each other, praying for healing, and moving on with our lives.
Every single thing I just said applies to pastors just as completely as it does to you.
We are not an extra-saved, extra-holy, extra-not-inclined-to-sin people. Pastors are humans, just like you. The only difference is while you have been called to love and serve the body of Christ, they have been called to lead it, and that is no small task.
Titus 1:6 and 1 Timothy 3:2 both outline the expectations of a leader in the church. If you read them both, you will realize it is no small list.
Blameless as a steward of God, above reproach
Faithful husband to his wife
Temperate, sober, vigilant
Sober-minded, prudent
Of good behavior, orderly, respectable
Given to hospitality
Able to teach
Not given to wine
Not violent, not pugnacious
Patient, moderate, forbearing, gentle
Uncontentious, not soon angry or quick-tempered
Not covetous, not a lover of money
Rules his own house well, his children are faithful, not accused of rebellion to God
Not a novice or new convert
Has a good rapport or reputation with outsiders
Not self-willed
A lover of what is good
Just, fair
Holy, devout
Self-controlled
Hold firmly to the faithful message as it has been taught
These are the indicators that show that a pastor is living the way God commands them to, and one of these topics is probably what you are referring to when you refer to habitual sin.
Again, I believe pastors need grace like everyone else, which includes an understanding that they are imperfect as well. But when it comes to a habitual pattern of sin in one of these areas, what we should expect out of a pastor, rather than perfection, is a consistent effort to overcome the regular engagement of these issues, as well as a track record of victory.
Pastors are to set the example for the rest of the church, but their example will never be sinlessness, as I think many in the church are inclined to delusionally believe somewhere in their psyche. Instead, the example of a pastor should be consistent victory over sin, which comes by way of regular confession, accountability, and vulnerability with individuals they know and trust. It will require them to be brutally honest about their faults and defects, not with the whole congregation, but with select individuals who pray for them and spur them on. It will mean they need to have safeguards and habits in place that lead them away from their sinful appetites, which overall creates a lifestyle of godliness and holiness.
And just as in the Old Testament when the priests in the temple were required to sacrifice an animal for their sins before they could sacrifice animals for the sins of God’s people, the pastor must daily confess, repent, and receive forgiveness for their sins.
When a pastor is either unrepentant or unwilling to grow, or they have a habitual sin that is not consciously being confessed and worked on practically to be overcome, this is when there is concern for the church. If a pastor does not have systems in place to check their heart and life against the list above with someone else, this is when action needs to be taken to course correct. And like so much of our lives as Christians, the response and application is sure to be nuanced. It could require the pastor to take a leave of absence, or to simply introduce systems and habits in their lives that insure accountability and growth, or immediate removal from their position of authority.
But why does it feel like there is a difference between a pastor who is not patient and one that is sleeping with someone outside of their marriage, when both are included in the passages above? Well, that has to do with the rest of scripture, which speaks into various examples and situations of these sins in the church, as well as the severity of the negative impact and destruction these sins have. Scripture clearly states there is immense repercussion for someone involved in an affair, because “sexual sin is against one’s own body,” while none of the others are. We must consider passages like this when dealing with specific sins in a pastor's life, while also understanding that because the calling of leadership of the church is a high calling, the consequences of any sin should be greater for a pastor than a church member.
Above all, as with any other member of a church, we must be driven by love. 1 John tells us that there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do with punishment. When addressing sin in anyone’s life, the goal must be redemption and restoration for that person, an existence where they are free from the control and shame and guilt and fear and pain sin exerts over a life, and rich with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control in dynamic relationships with God and others. Too often we have thought of church discipline being designed just to punish, humiliate, or protect the rest of the church. But since the church is a place filled with imperfect humans, there is always risk involved when love is invested there.
Love must always be invested in the church. In every season, scenario, and addressing of sin, love must be the ruling force, because, while we have been given many instructions on how to live, the two greatest commands involve loving God and loving each other. If you have prayed and sought wise counsel and believe you should approach someone in authority in the church about the pastor’s sin, then you should. Their leadership is their calling and they cannot fulfill their calling if they are actively rebelling against God in unhealthy ways, so they need loving, humble people who care about them to bring their sin to their attention.
But also understand that you probably do not have positional or relational authority in their life, and might need to approach someone who does like the elders or leadership of the church. Rather than attempting to discredit a pastor in the name of truth or justice, approach the situation knowing they are human like you, and are probably doing their best to honor God and people. Try not to villainize your pastor or anyone else needing to be free from sin, at least they’re asking for help (or were lovingly exposed by God) and have hope for healing, unlike so many of us who hide in our sin and shame.
Finally, take time to earnestly pray for your pastor's health, healing, holiness, and wholeness. We all sin, we just have the responsibility of helping others learn to live in freedom on top of fighting to do it ourselves, and we need your prayers and support as much as you need ours.
This is a serious topic, and we are meant to treat it seriously. But we are meant to do so with overwhelmingly love and a deep, deep commitment to speaking only the truth to one another in that context of love.