My First Two Questions
I don’t remember when it started, but I love asking the same two questions of people when I first meet them. Meeting people can be really difficult for some, and keeping up a conversation that you feel obligated to be in is no fun at all, especially when you just ask the same questions over and over again. “What do you do?” ‘Where are you from?” “How do you like San Diego?” Right now I work with a lot of college students, so instead of asking them “What year are you?” And “What’s your major?” I’ll ask them, “What is something about college you wished someone would ask you but no one does?” If that’s a little too ambiguous for them then I get more specific, but most of the time I see a look of surprise and usually a smile, and I’d much prefer that to boredom and awkward silence.
Anyways, the first two questions I ask are:
“If you could ride any animal, real or imaginary, what would it be?” And I quickly follow that up by saying it’s a VERY different question than what animal you would BE, so answer accordingly.
The other is:
“If you had a day completely to yourself, nothing scheduled, what would you do?”
And I love these questions for so many reasons.
It tells me so much about the person, and I usually tell them this before I even ask the question. I say “Ok, I’m going to ask you the same two questions I ask everybody I meet and they’re going to tell me everything I need to know about you.” I say this with a grin on my face because, of course, I don’t learn EVERYTHING. But I can learn a lot! For instance, is the animal they ride docile or aggressive (ie a cat or a dragon)? Do they get creative with it (ie a cat or a cat the size of a house that breathes fire)? Do they get creative or stick to the basics? Is it a flying animal? Water? On their day off, are they spending it with other people or by themselves? Do they spend it in public or at home? Do they travel or stay in the city? Are they outdoors or inside? Do they assume the weather? Do they ask about it? Do they say what they want the weather to be? There is a lot to be learned from these questions!
They’re fun! I have no idea how I came up with them, but they stuck and I just go for it. It always gives people something interesting to think about and consider, and it breaks the ice in a creative way.
They feel cared for. Not only am I asking them the question and expressing an interest in knowing the answers, but by telling them that these questions are going to tell me so much about them, they now know that I care about who they are and want to know about them.
It keeps me from getting bored. I have to meet so many new people that if I were to ask the same things over and over I might go insane. But these questions are fun for me too, and I like getting to know them in a different way.
The second question, about the day off, gives me some insight into what a Sabbath could look like for them. Most people don’t take a Sabbath, but I’ve been taking one for over ten years now. Now, I’m not some super saint that just decided to be disciplined enough to do it, I was on a ministry team that set an expectation that we would have a sabbath, and I’ve kept one ever since. I’ll write more on it later, but suffice it to say it is one of the main things that has kept me sane and helped my marriage, work, and every area of my life. So I am passionate about seeing other people learn how to rest, and this question can give me a starting place with these people later on if we talk about rest and the sabbath together.
Did I mention they’re fun???
Honestly, I hardly remember people’s answers (I spend way more mental energy and effort into remembering their names). But for that moment we’re both having fun and they are feeling the fact that I care about who they are, and that is exactly what I want peoples first impression of me to be.